A Human Pin Cushion

I'm back! I know I've been quiet for a bit, but truly there has been nothing new to report.

The weeks between our consultation with Dr. Stanic-Kostic and now have been filled with lots of tears, questions and even some joy (insert Harry Potter World - the cure to any and every thing).

Universal Studios Florida

This brings us to Tuesday, January 31st and our next appointment. This time I will be meeting with Dr. Broadwell as she specializes in donor fertility treatment. I will be prodded and poked and tests will be done to determine if I'm able to carry and sustain a pregnancy. I will be undergoing a prenatal lab, a hysteroscopy and Fragile X Syndrome testing. If you are anything like me, this all seemed like medical mumble-jumble, so I'm going to put on my white coat, pull out the old stethoscope and Dr. Brooke will try break it all down for you.

A hysteroscopy is a way of viewing the inside of the uterus by inserting an ultra-thin, flexible fiber optic camera into the uterus. The actual procedure will take about 10 minutes and I should be able to view video images as Dr. Broadwell explains all she is seeing. This will help ensure that the uterine cavity is in the best possible condition. They say it should be painless, but I'm sure having a camera shoved up your lady bits is not going to be an enjoyable experience. Either way, no general anesthesia or sedation is needed.

Next on the list is testing to see if I am a carrier of  Fragile X Syndrome (FXS). FXS is a genetic condition that causes intellectual disability, behavioral and learning challenges and various physical characteristics. Though FXS occurs in both genders, males are more frequently affected than females, and generally with greater severity. I'll be 100% honest with you, I'm very confused about this test and plan to ask lots of question. But one thing I know for certain is it is recommended for women with unexplained premature reduction in ovarian reserve or premature ovarian failure (menopause) should be tested prior to undergoing assisted reproduction. And that's where I fit in and why I'm being tested.

Like always, I will keep you updated on all that happens and the next steps in our journey. Until then, I'm resting up and drinking plenty of water in preparation for becoming a human pin cushion!

Brooke ♡

Three Things

This post will be short and sweet. And right to the point as I am still trying to understand all the information we received from our consultation with Dr. Aleksandar Stanic-Kostic.  Our appointment was extremely informative and at times most of the information went right in one ear and right out the other, but there were three things he wanted us to take away from our appointment and those are the three things I want to share.

1) Although it's not conclusive and more test will be occurring in the next few weeks, Dr. Stanic-Kostic believes I'm going through Premature Ovarian Failure (POF) or also known as Premature Menopause. Yes, you read that right. A 31 year old is going through menopause. While I'm still not sure what all this means in my personal journey and how this will effect me long term, Dr. Stanic-Kostic suggest I look into Hormone Replacement Therapy.

2) How does Premature Ovarian Failure play a role in our journey to starting a family?  To be honest, it screws up EVERYTHING!! I will more than likely not be able to get pregnant using my own eggs. Those are the most heartbreaking words I have ever heard and will ever have to say. As a female hearing you may never get pregnant, crushes you. Breaks you into a million pieces.

3) Dr. Stanic-Kostic and the wonderful staff of Generations Fertility Care will do everything to help us achieve our family. With that being said, we have options. It might be even more unconventional than I originally thought, but all that matters is our dream of starting a family is not lost.

I want to thank you all for your love and support yesterday. It truly meant the world to us! We promise to keep you in the loop on this crazy journey! But for the time being, I'm going to wallow in self pity and eat a lot of ice cream!

Brooke ♡

Our Story

Just a little bit of history on how our experience with infertility began. In May of 2015 I stopped taking birth control in preparation for starting a family. This is what began the extremely stressful time of trying to get pregnant naturally.

We had tried everything out there to get pregnant - tracking my temperature using a Basal Thermometer, ovulation test strips and even multiple apps on my phone (ya, I know...that one was kind of foolish because there is no way my cell phone could tell me when I was ovulating). But the problem we were facing was Aunt Flow (aka my menstrual cycle) was so irregular. Which caused even more stress because every time Aunt Flow was late I was convinced I was pregnant. Only to take multiple pregnancy test and get the heartbreaking results - NOT PREGNANT!

The irregular visits from Aunt Flow (or in my case, the lack of visits) lead me to the most amazing doctor - Maria Vandenberg of Women's Care of Wisconsin. (Side note: If you are in need of new OGBYN I highly recommend Dr. Vandenberg). Dr. Vandenberg did all that was possible to create a plan for Bradley and I to start a family. This meant lots of needle pokes and ultrasounds. Eventually, in October 2016, she was able to determine I had a low ovarian reserve.

The day I heard those words was devastating. I was heartbroken. I had no clue what any of this meant or what we should do next. So like any kid that grew up with the internet, I did my research. I scoured the internet for hours. And I learned way too much information about women's ovarian reserves.

• Females begin life with one to two million eggs at birth, but unfortunately a large majority of them decay before they are ever needed for reproduction
• By puberty, the number of eggs has fallen to 250,000 to 500,000
• At 37, a women will only have 25,000
• Finally, at menopause there are less than 1000 eggs remaining

Unfortunately for me (and my woman crush on Dr. Vandenberg), we needed to find a new doctor. We were now one of those couples that needed to visit an Infertility Specialist - my normal OBGYN was no longer able to assist.  I was heartbroken all over again because I truly loved all the support I received from Women's Care of Wisconsin (second side note: if we successfully get pregnant, we will be able to go back to Dr. Vandenberg)!! And let me tell you, picking an Infertility Clinic to go to is very difficult. I am putting all my hopes in dream into one doctor and how in the world was I supposed to decide. Luckily for me, Bradley was extremely supportive and allowed me to make the choice of the clinic I was most comfortable with. Cost (and let me tell you, there truly is a wide arrange of cost among the different facilities) and location were no issue. After much consideration I decided on Generation - Fertility Care in Middleton, WI.

This leads us to tomorrow (January 10, 2017), the wait is finally over! We will be starting the next chapter in our journey. We will be heading out to Middleton bright and early in the morning. We will get a chance to meet with our doctor, ask questions and determine the next steps to starting our family. We will keep you updated on this crazy experience that is only just starting!

Brooke ♡

We Are The Millers

Hi! I'm Brooke! That tall, strapping, young lad to my left is my husband Bradley. And we are The Millers!

We want to start a family, but unfortunately it wont be the "conventional" way. Why? Because I'm the Not So Fertile Mertile. That's right ladies and gents, I'm among the one million women in the US that are unable to get pregnant after at least 12 consecutive months of trying.

I've always thought infertility was something to be ashamed of or to hide. But the truth is one in eight couples have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy. My hope is to shed some light (and a lil bit of humor) on infertility. To share what it's really all about - the struggles and hopefully joys that come from infertility.

So this is our blog. Our experience with infertility. Stay tuned cause this crazy journey is just beginning.

The Millers ♡